Wanting isn’t the problem. Without desire, nothing moves. The real danger is wanting the wrong things or wanting the right things for the wrong reasons.
I’ve seen it in my own life. I’ve seen it in athletes, business owners, parents, artists. Some of the most disciplined lives I’ve witnessed were still hollow inside because the wants driving them were misaligned.
The Wrong Wants
A wrong want doesn’t have to be immoral to cause damage. It just has to be out of step with reality or with the values you claim to hold.
The entrepreneur who says they want freedom but chains themselves to endless work.
The parent who says they want connection but always postpones presence for achievement.
The artist who says they want meaning but really chases applause.
Each of these wants carries a fatal flaw: they erode the very thing they claim to build.
The Athlete Who Wants the Win Without the Work
In sports, I’ve coached players who could talk endlessly about the dream of winning titles, signing sponsorships, ranking at the top.
They wanted the outcome. But their desire wasn’t anchored in what produces the outcome.
The aligned athlete doesn’t just tolerate the pain of training. They want it. They recognize that each drill, each repetition, each day of disciplined work is where they become the kind of player who can perform when the win is on the line.
When the want is outcome-only, the grind feels like a distraction. When the want is rooted in the system, every day becomes meaningful, not just the days with trophies.
Chasing Shiny Wants
Misaligned wants are usually external. They hinge on someone else’s recognition, a public metric, or a condition you don’t fully control.
The problem isn’t ambition. The problem is outsourcing satisfaction to things that were never yours to control.
The wrong want will have you sprinting for a horizon that moves faster than you can run. The right want turns each step into an arrival.
That’s the difference between chasing completion and living in execution. Completion is fragile — it can be delayed, derailed, diminished. Execution is constant. It produces good work at every stage.
Legendary coach John Wooden put it plainly: “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”
Execution grounds you in that standard every day, not just at the finish line.
Wanting Well
Wanting well means your desire is integrated into a system you can actually control, your own discipline.
That discipline must stay rooted in reality, not in fantasy. It bends where reality bends, it adjusts where circumstances shift, but it doesn’t lose its direction.
To want well is to hunger for the process itself — not because you control outcomes, but because you control the steadiness of your response to reality. And that steadiness is what ties wanting well to the discipline that endures.
When the Want Is Right
The right want changes the way a life feels from the inside. It shows up in people who move steadily, not frantically — people who carry satisfaction in the work itself instead of postponing it for the day everything lines up.
I’ve watched some build businesses that lasted because they wanted the craft, not just the sale. I’ve seen parents who wanted presence more than performance, and the memory they left was stronger than any award. I’ve seen athletes who wanted the daily test more than the podium, and it made them unshakable when the stakes rose.
When the want is right, your pace may look slower to others, but your foundation is stronger. You’re not chasing a finish line. You’re building a life you can keep standing in.
The Discipline That Holds
Wanting well is not natural. It is a discipline.
But once it becomes part of you, it separates chasing moments that fade from building a life that endures.
The work worth doing is the work you can live inside without asking it to end.
