People think alignment will feel like peace. I’ve found it feels more like friction that finally has a purpose.
When the aim is alignment, the tension you carry doesn’t go away, it gets organized. Instead of scattering you, it starts driving you in one direction. That doesn’t make life easier. It makes life clearer. And clarity can be exhausting in its own way.
The Illusion of Smooth Edges
I used to think alignment meant harmony, no inner conflict, no resistance. That’s a comfortable picture. It’s also false.
Real alignment has edges. It forces choices you’ve been avoiding. It cuts off options you kept around just to feel safe. It won’t let you pretend something fits when you already know it doesn’t.
That’s why alignment can feel like losing ground at first. You’re letting go of the things you’ve used to keep yourself steady, even if they weren’t helping you move forward.
Alignment Is Not a New System
Alignment isn’t a replacement for religion, philosophy, or any packaged life framework. It’s not a set of rules. It’s not a program you adopt.
It already exists in the reality you interact with every day. You’ve felt it in the decision that sat right with you in a way nothing else could. You’ve noticed it when you saw a clear line between what strengthens you and what drains you.
Most people don’t recognize it as alignment because they’re too used to chasing something else, approval, comfort, distraction.
You don’t “join” alignment. You acknowledge it. And once you do, it holds you accountable whether you like it or not.
Why Discomfort Is a Signal
Comfort and alignment rarely live in the same place. Comfort protects what you already have. Alignment will dismantle it if it’s in the way.
When I’ve been in alignment, I’ve had to take calls I didn’t want to make. Walk away from work that still paid well. Set boundaries that ended certain relationships.
Those moments were uncomfortable, but the discomfort was different. It felt like the strain of a muscle being used, not the ache of deterioration.
If you expect alignment to make you feel safe, you’ll sabotage it before it can take root.
The Coaching Lens
In over two decades of coaching athletes, from professionals to beginners, I’ve seen the same divide, aligned or misaligned.
The aligned athlete could endure pain in training because they understood it was temporary and tied to a goal worth pursuing. That pursuit fueled them to keep going.
The misaligned athlete focused only on the moment. If the discomfort crossed their “acceptable” threshold, they stopped. Their decisions weren’t based on capacity, they were based on comfort.
The Ache, Reoriented
In The Ache That Shapes Us, I wrote that longing doesn’t disappear. Alignment doesn’t erase that longing, it redirects it.
The ache becomes less about what’s missing and more about what’s possible. You still feel the gap, but it’s tied to something you can stand behind.
I’ve learned to tell the difference:
• Misaligned ache pulls toward quick relief.
• Aligned ache pushes toward lasting structure.
Both demand energy. Only one leaves you stronger.
Letting Alignment Narrow the Field
One cost of alignment I’ve resisted more than once, it limits your options.
We’re wired to think more options mean more freedom. But when every option gets equal weight, nothing moves. Alignment forces you to pick a lane and stay in it long enough to see results.
It’s not glamorous. You don’t get the thrill of chasing everything at once. But you gain traction, and traction beats motion without progress every time.
Facing the Disruptions
Alignment has disrupted my routines more than any crisis ever has. Not in dramatic ways, but in ways that stick.
When you live in alignment, you notice every time your actions are out of sync with your principles. You can ignore it for a while, but the dissonance builds.
I’ve had to change how I spend my mornings. Who I take calls from. The kind of work I say yes to, even when the money looks good. Alignment isn’t a feeling I “get.”
It’s a standard I meet, or I don’t.
The Hard Truth About ‘Easy’
People say, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll feel easy.” I don’t buy it. What’s “meant to be” often demands the hardest decisions you’ll make, and alignment won’t shield you from them.
The easiest things in my life have been the most costly in the long run. The hardest aligned choices have given me the most capacity, clarity, and stability.
Ease can be a comfort trap. Alignment is a course correction.
Choosing the Strain You Can Live With
Every path comes with strain. You either choose the strain of staying misaligned, which wears you down, or the strain of staying true to alignment, which builds you.
I’ve learned to ask:
• Is this discomfort from resisting what I know is right?
• Or is it from building something worth keeping?
One kind leaves you hollow. The other leaves you sharper.
Alignment Is Active
In our known reality, alignment isn’t a finish line. It’s not something you “lock in” and forget. It’s constant recalibration. Some days you miss it. Other days you hit it for hours at a time.
The point is to keep aiming for it, even when the cost feels high. Misalignment has its own cost, and it’s always steeper in the end.
I don’t want alignment to make me comfortable. I want it to make me certain.
Comfort fades fast. Certainty, when it’s earned, can hold for a lifetime.
